Coping With Tragedy

 
By Donna Langston
MEC Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Chairperson


When tragedies happen in the workplace…

No one really knows how he or she will react when something tragic and unexpected shatters the safety of our workplace whether this is on the aircraft or on layover. All those things we have counted on without thinking are suddenly open to question, and even the routine events can seem, at least for a while, menacing, threatening, or unpredictable while we try to work through what has happened, how it occurred, and what we can do about it.

Our first reactions are usually shock and disbelief, followed very quickly by a roller coaster of emotions. We may react at one moment with very intense anger, grief, or sadness, so strongly that we feel it is almost out of control, the next minute we are back together and holding strong only to “lose it” again later.

That back and forth experience usually starts to settle down as the days pass and as events become clearer, but does not entirely stop or go away. You can expect every now and again to experience the grip of another moment of intense emotional reaction, especially when circumstances you were not expecting trigger feelings similar to those you have felt at the time of the tragedy. The intensity of each bout should lessen as time goes on. The time those feelings take to pass will shorten, and the time between those reactions will start to get longer as the days and weeks go by.

Working it through…

Working through a traumatic event will take time, and you will need to face some changes as you go along. But the most important thing to remember is that you are going through the event with others. AFA is more than your labor union. We are a closely united association of fellow safety professionals who share each day a commitment to our flying partners and our passengers. Every member of AFA stands with you and by you as you work toward recovery. No matter how difficult it may seem, you can come through even stronger than before. Each person’s support and contribution will be important.

Some thoughts to consider…

There is not a magic formula or simple answer to working through, or helping others work through, a traumatic event. The following suggestions are just ideas and approaches that have been helpful to others and are simply a starting place for healing.

There are no set rules and no two people reacting to an event will necessarily share the same response. The range of normal responses is extremely broad. It is the situation that is abnormal, not you or your reactions to it.

Give yourself some extra space, especially the first few days and perhaps weeks after the event. Personal impact will come and go so allow yourself the time and space to react.

Be sensitive to those around you. Many people tend to turn inward when processing major life disruptions while others feel compelled to talk. Being aware of those around you will contribute to getting through the trauma.

Talk when you need to and listen when you can. It is really basic in the long run. Improvement comes one day at a time and one person to another.

You do not have to talk when you do not need to talk. It is important not to run way from your reactions, but it is just as important to let yourself have some distance from the event and your reactions to it. Many people will have comments, questions, and suggestions. Some statements will be welcome and others may seem intrusive, clumsy, or insensitive. It is perfectly acceptable to say, “I’d rather talk about something else”.

Allow yourself extra time and extra help until you have readjusted. It is difficult to let others help us, but helping is healing for everyone. Also, if you are offering help to someone, specifically suggest how you want to help, bring dinner over or pick up his or her mail.

If it works for you, pass it on. People and the groups they live and work with can and do become stronger when they work through difficult things together. Terrible events appear at first as overwhelming threats, but there is real strength in getting through them intact and together.

Just remember…

We need to be reminded why we chose the work we do, that of a safety professional, and that is precisely the job we will continue to do. AFA and the Employee Assistance Program continue to respond to their flying partners whenever needed. So remember, unity is more than a slogan for strikes and negotiations; it is the connection that holds us together through the best and worst of times. Reach out to one another and never forget that you are not alone.

We all have different ways of dealing with things, and what may be right for one may not work for another. The EAP goal is to ensure that we have made every effort to support you and your own way of coping at each point along the way. When you need assistance, or have a question about what help might be available, contact your local EAP representative or the International AFA EAP office in Washington (800-424-2406).